~Patterns~

~If you choose me, be aware of what you are choosing~

Or

~Patterns~

                If change is inevitable, and actions are choices, then, within the many overlapping cycles of life lives the power of choice. So, by focusing solely on desire, do we miss crucial factors? What would those factors be? Doesn’t the world seem to point out those points too us?

                Repeating cycles means what? Oversights, incompleteness, the lack of perceiving in the entirety. We need to accept that the world we exist in cannot be completely understood. But we as Warriors, Sorcerers, and men of knowledge know that the real objective is not to understand the world but instead to cultivate the awareness to simply handle the world. Understanding is nice, but unnecessary. Handling the world is enough. So simple a concept for an all-encompassing idea.

                Patterns. My repeating pattern seems to be; I meet someone who I find truly interesting. Well not just that, she also seems interested in me. There’s always similar circumstances attached, for example, she has a boyfriend or she’s married or she lives far away or she’s a lesbian or at least something along these lines. Also, she seems to be in need of some sort of “special attention” and consideration of which I am willing and able to provide. I apparently see my role clearly when I find myself “choosing” to engage these individuals and develop a relationship. I meet the woman’s “special attention” and needs and then she moves on, better off for the experience. Problem is this; there is always some love attached. Powerful and unconditional. Specialized to fill the “holes” in the other person. I end up falling in love, ½ knowing that my role is to fulfill their need responsibly. I was granted these gifts, now I’m being called on to use them, seems fair right? Well, I always hope, really hope that this time things will be different. That this time, it will all work out right.

                Now, if there is one point within this “grand enterprise” that can sway the path either way, is it mine to decide? Could my role perhaps be more than just “special attention”, maybe love for me? I meet and become intimate with these lucky ladies in new and exciting ways. I’m always out-doing myself, making them happier and treating them better than anyone ever had. My overall knowledge of their “quirks” which make them unique come thru and they are celebrated. They become a part of me as I give of myself, whatever I am able. This is the “frosting on the cake” that I’ve always dreamt of. See also, I’m forced to over and over again, let these loving, cherished connections go. I realize that everything has its time, but isn’t there a way to have better control over the when and why?

                Clarity would be a must. Detachment and personal depth are necessary to achieve this clarity. These patterns stand as proof rooted in my past that this pattern re-emerges time and time again. It would be wise of me to make use of these experiences and that wisdom can guide me to the clarity I so desperately need.

                Then there is fear. We both inevitably have it. If she is afraid, it would be wise of me to construct situations which reveal safety and security for her. Trying to do this must be fluid and sincere as well as spontaneous, using all the gifts and skills I have at my disposal. Not impossible, but this also must not be more than a guideline for my intent. Anything more would lead me to being less aware of other potentially critical factors.

                I’m afraid too. I’m afraid that I will have to give my love back to God and live in emptiness. Don’t I deserve to be happy? Love is larger than I am. Larger then we are, granted. I really want to feel it again. Not to mention that some help in life would be much appreciated. All too often it resembles a dream of which I am afraid to awake for the fear that she will be gone.

                My role in these situations seem to be akin to the precision of a surgeon utilizing his scalpel. He corrects the undesirable ailment and then moves on to the next.  My hope and desire for love parallels the desire to be as effective and precise as I can be with every healing of every ailment, issue or situation.  Does that mean that love for me is perfect usefulness coupled with an equal exchange of energy with my partner? The appreciation and gratitude expressed to me from my partner means the world to me. That return of energy and caring makes me valuable. It makes me truly happy for as long as it lasts. Without it there can be only loss and pain. With that little offering of thanks, I am fulfilled!

                The world has revealed to me that usefulness is not always found within what we can hold in our hands or found in the actions that we choose. Sometimes, usefulness lives in the empty space. Consider the window in your bedroom. It is the space without which gives it the most value. The water glass-the emptiness within is what offers a vessel for liquids. Am I truly such a container? To be filled up and to nourish the user, only to be discarded once their drink is done? Because relationships and communications are essentially an exchange of personal energy, could awareness guide me to perpetually fulfill the new and inevitable need sure to arise? Assuming that is possible, is it proper? I mean, is that a form of indulgence on my part? Is it a perversion of the gifts and “special abilities” I have been so ingratiated with?

                If I were to choose someone. The one I choose to adore is satisfied over and over again so that she chooses me, over and over again with a fulfilled heart, is that wrong? And I am fulfilled and happy, is that wrong? I guess that depends on perspective. Is it misleading to believe that the concept is even possible? I have no true evidence that it is. Evidence has shown me, time and time again, that once my usefulness is exhausted, I am discarded and replaced with a newer model.

                I learn more and more every time. I hurt….every time, but at least I felt love.

 I am the full cup as well as the empty. But all and all, I am only a cup. A vessel to hold the love and devotion that she needed at the time. Does a cup prefer fullness to emptiness, emptiness to being full? Or is a cup satisfied being an effective vessel for either? I believe that the cups best bet is to be the best cup that he can be! The most widely chosen, practical vessel possible. In that light, I am a very good cup, although sometimes fragile, I keep hot drinks hot and cold ones cold. My usefulness lies both in my full state as well as my empty. I am a champagne glass of crystal and also a rusty canteen. A clay pot and a Ming dynasty vase. My values is the same be me empty or full, hot or cold, clay or crystal, chalice or canteen. But do heed this…..I am not a disposable beer cup, 40 for a dollar. If that’s what you think you see, you should have no problem finding another just like it, for you are sadly mistaken. My power lies within my willingness and availability to be used. So if it is me that you choose, know what you are choosing.

~Steven Zen~

An hour of Therapy

An hour of Therapy

There were three colored stones set in the base of the statue. Each stone was about a fist in size. The one to the left was white in color and rested comfortably underneath the right hand of the statue. The middle stone was a lite, almost milky red and the right one was black as obsidian. The black stone sat under the left hand of the statue. Before the statue stood a make shift alter with various articles placed loosely about it. That is where he found her, Half-kneeling before it. He wondered why she cried. Soft sobs from deep within her, spilling out like blood from a wound, as she let her head fall into her cup shaped hands. He was not sure if she knew whether or not he had discovered her there. Perhaps she remained oblivious due to her curious state, or maybe she didn't care if he was there at all. His uneasiness grew as the time he stood there observing the scene lengthened. He tried to determine if she was making some sort of act of contrition or if she simply sought a means to diminish her silent pain. She had auburn hair which curled upwards at its tips. She wore a blue and white cotton dress which seemed slightly slept in. Her sleeves were very full and they were crimped neatly at the wrist. If he had any knowledge of what or who the statue was, his insight into the moment would have had at least some assistance. He decided to step back into the shadows of the great Corinthian pillars which loomed in the room, observing all the while this dreamlike event unfold…

“That’s enough for today. Next week I’d like you to bring your dream journals with you.”

An hour of therapy goes by so quickly he thought.

Words of Wisdom

-When one realizes that one is a character in someone else's dream, that is self awareness.


-Remembering is so much more psychotic than forgetting.


-Life is not a dream, beware.


-His last words were, please sweep me up.



-Time is a continuous distraction to make us forget that God exists. Time is a constant saying no to Gods invitation to heaven. Life is the moving from the "NO" to the "YES". There is no time, not really, there is only the moment, right now.


-A factor often overlooked or discarded is that to learn or grow to one's fullest potential one must begin when one is empty. Only then can your fullest potential be accessible. 



- A cat does not try to be a cat, and a bird not a bird. Men whose goal is to be what they are not will always be unhappy. Men who are practiced in simply "being themselves" are available to more than the can ever know, and when they greet the unknown, their ally will be joy. 


-Sometimes non-action is the best action of all.


-When a man stops struggling to be more than a man, he becomes more than a man.


-

The Core Truths of Spirituality

How to start? How to begin a new blog?  We are taught from day one by our society and our families that there is a beginning. A universe that has both a beginning and an end. That is our syntax. A different Syntax would be to say, there is no beginning. The universe always was, and will forever be. Forever changing and always evolving into something greater, something new. We are always evolving always changing into something new, for we are of the universe. No matter which syntax is your world view, we can agree that we both have a world view and that we are forever changing.

As we observe this ever evolving, ever changing world about us, we constantly speak to ourselves in our minds. We remind ourselves what our perceived rules are. What is in the realm of possibility and simply put, what is not. This consistent, never ceasing internal dialogue continues on. This internal dialogue presents itself as layers upon layers of statements, comments, questions, reflections, feelings, fears and so on. What is the purpose of all this chatter? The reason is this, the internal dialogue acts as a shield of protection for us. It keeps us solid in this ever changing ever evolving universe. At the same time, this internal dialogue prevents us from experiencing, what I call, non-ordinary reality.  By constantly speaking to ourselves and reinforcing our conditioned beliefs, we eliminate the dangers often associated with a more fluid perception. However, if we can engage our WILL, we can change the way we think, about the world and the rules that govern it, then the rules themselves will change. By modifying our internal dialogue, controlling how and what we think, we gain influence over the manifestations all around us.We can reclaim our power and influence.

Whenever someone wants to, say, become closer to God, or begin a new study of any spiritual nature, the first step usually has something to do with meditation. Meditation meaning a series of steps one adopts to help facilitate the quieting of the mind. To relax with a few cleansing breaths. To think about something beautiful in order to help find inner peace. There are so many ways to begin, use whatever works for you. The point is, through this universal method, you quiet your internal dialogue. Many spiritual cultures consider it paramount to achieving any chance at freedom for oneself at all. By slowly acknowledging each thought as it comes to you, without any feeling or judgment, gingerly greet then release each thought as it comes. You should be able to notice at this point, the space between the thoughts. It is in that place, in the silence which exists between those thoughts, where peace exists. Peace in its purest form. It is there where you can eavesdrop on the cosmic consciousness. It is from the silence where creation begins as well as the secrets of the great mystery of the universe itself. 

This act of becoming quiet, by silencing the internal dialogue, is called Stopping the World. At that point you are able to connect yourself to pure potentiality. While in a state of pure potentiality, all possibilities become open to you. All you must do at that point is choose your intent. Intent is something I will discuss further in my next blog. At that point I can begin to show that there are core truths which exist it all factions of spirituality. From Buddhism to Catholicism, from Wicca  to Taoism, Hinduism to Islam. Truth is no longer relative, it is eternal.